Love Scammed

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A year ago, my friend was contacted on Facebook by a very handsome stranger. They said they were in the military overseas and therefore could only text, email, and use a messenger app.

After a few weeks of talking, the man expressed how bored and lonely being in the service could be and expressed his wish for iTunes gift cards to buy music, movies, and other entertainment to have available in his downtime, but those gift cards were not available overseas. She, being the compassionate person she is, fulfilled this wish and sent him a few. He couldn't thank her enough and told her what an incredibly thoughtful and beautiful person she was. Who wouldn't want to hear such great compliments, especially after such a terrible divorce and an extended period of loneliness after.

He continually talked about when they would finally meet and discussed elaborate, romantic dates he was planning for her. He promised sunset walks on the beach, exotic vacations, and candlelight dinners once he was done with his "special mission".

Time passed, conversations were had, and emotions developed. He texted her things daily, like 'good morning, beautiful' and 'thinking of you' and other wonderful things he knew would engage her deeper.

Now it was time! He had a leave coming up and wanted nothing more than to see her, but he had no money for a plane ticket and accommodations. Of course she could front him the money, and of course he would pay her back when he arrived in the states and could access his American bank funds. The time came, but there was a problem! His commanding officer needed him and he would not be able to take his scheduled leave.

He gave many excuses over the next few months why he could not return home, and while they still hadn't met or even talked on the phone, he now needed her help organizing his finances back home in the United States! His mortgage company had been taking double payments, which he could sort out when he was back, but his checking account was $5000 in the red. If she could send money, he would pay her back asap as the mortgage company was refunding him in the next week, but the bank needed the money today or there were severe penalties and fines!

This went on for a while, and my friend eventually gave him $20,000 in the span of 6 months. Luckily, she started to get suspicious and started doing research and looking deeper into the background of her suitor. The additional research proved to be invaluable as it proved that the handsome man was not who he said he was. He was using pictures from a Facebook page that did not belong to him and the email address he provided was traced to a location in Africa. It was the information she needed to break it off for good.

She was heartbroken, she was angry, and she felt ashamed. Ashamed she fell for a scam. She wondered how someone of her educational background and intellect could get caught up in the emotions of a scammer. It took her months before she even told me. Also, she was so embarrassed, she had not told anyone in her family. I assured her that she was not the only one and gave her a plethora of resources she could turn to for support. Knowing how common it was helped her understand how it happened, and having support helped her realize she was not the only one.

Signs it was a scam:

• He talked about marriage without even meeting her

• Never could talk on the phone

• always had reasons to need money and the need was always urgent or time based

• Asked for iTunes gift cards

• Always had barriers wot why they couldn't meet face to face

How to avoid these types of scams

• Do a reverse image search of the person

• Do Not buy gift cards, money orders, wire transfers, pre-loaded credit cards, or Bitcoin.

• Be careful about how much personal information you are sharing on your social media accounts. Scammers are specifically looking for widows/widowers, people whose profiles say single or divorced, live alone, etc.

• Do not share photos that are sensitive or intimate. Scammers use those to blackmail their targets.

If you believe you might be in a similar situation, reach out! I can assist you in finding the information you need to see if the pursuer is legitimate.